I’ve decided that I’m going to let my S.3, E.2 post (Rage Against The Machine) sit and marinate for a bit before moving on to episode 3. Why? Because Matt punched Jake in the fucking face, of course! I want to let that sufficiently sink in before exploring the inevitable falloot from such an earth-shattering turn of events. Besides, y’all seem to like these little bite-sized between-episode diversions more than my lovingly crafted episode summaries even though they are this page’s indisputable raison d’etre. So sit back and enjoy this medley of inconsequential odds and sods while you mentally prepare for Matt’s long-awaited alcoholic rock bottom.
Aboot That Punch
Take your index finger, hook it into the interior of one of your cheeks and pull – POP! I shit you not, that was the sound effect employed at the moment Matt’s fist connected with Jake’s face. The only way this could have been made more ridiculous is if the sound crew had instead opted for a full-on, Looney Toons-style “BOI-OI-OING!”
Making History
Take a look at the black and white Fifteen promo photo at the top of my last post (Friends of The Avalon). You’ll notice a watermark bearing the inscription “HISTORIC IMAGES”. Thus, Notes From The Avalon is far from the trivial, childish time-waster it’s sometimes accused of being. It is nothing less than an important and faithful documentation of HISTORY.
Family Guy
Family Guy has been on the air for 20 fucking years, making me fear that it will soon suffer the same fate of eternal mediocrity that befell The Simpsons. Regardless, I still occasionally catch moments of brilliance in some of the more recent episodes, though not nearly as many as there used to be. The content of this hilariously uncomfortable phone call made by Brian (in close proximity to an eavesdropping Stewie) is one of those moments:
Operator: Hello, Fundamental Industries, how can I help you?
Brian: Yeah, uh…is this…is this Bang Brothers?
Operator: Yes.
Brian: Oh, okay. I – I’d like to cancel my subscription.
Operator: What’s your name?
Brian: Brian Griffin.
Operator: And what site did you belong to?
Brian: Uh, Captain Stabbin’.
Operator: And how are you spelling that?
Brian: Uh…um, Captain, full word, then Stabbin’, S-t-a-b-b-i-n-apostrophe.
Operator: Okay, I’m checking.
Brian: You know, instead of a G at the end.
Operator: I’m sorry, Sir, I’m not finding that site. What was the subject matter?
Brian: Um…uh…a guy doing chicks on a boat in, uh, a captain’s hat.
Operator: Okay, I’m checking.
Brian: The uh…the passengers had just signed up for a tour of the harbor and, um…and all that stuff happened.
Speaking of Porn
In the 1998 film “The Faculty”, Laura Harris (Ashley) appears in a full-frontal nude scene. I refuse to watch this. I know that she was an adult by the time this movie was released, but in my mind, she was, is and always will be fifteen years old. But if you’re interested, I’m sure it’s readily available for online viewing…pervert.
The Kids In The Hall were Canadian, too
Therefore, I can close this post with a classic ditty from Canadian surf-gods Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet withoot straying too far from the main theme of this page. Enjoy.
Notes From The Avalon 
I never liked the a Family Guy series. Definitely not for me. But I’m old enough to be your mother, so watch it in your room and keep the sound down. 🙃
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Kids In The Hall is the best, although The Baroness Von Sketch show–also Canadian and just like the Kids but all-female–is pretty hilarious too!
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The Baroness Von Sketch show…that sounds very, very familiar. I need to look that up and see if it does indeed inhabit some dark corner of my distant memory banks.
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There a lot of their clips on Youtube!
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I, too, find that phrase eerily familiar but draw no recollection. I’ll have to look it up…
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I swear to god I’ve watched Family Guy, like, 15-20 times and seen the same 3 episodes. I thought, for some reason, that there were only a few. 😂
I have to admit that, when I open your posts, I look at the reading time and then look at the clock and make a determination at that point. I’m generally at work when perusing and have to decide if I think I have 15 minutes to really enjoy the entry (I generally do not have the time, I always enjoy the entry) or wait. When it says 7 minutes or less it’s a go. What I need to do is throw each latest entry into my getpocket.com then start it and shut it down during interruptions and go back to getpocket.com and continue where I left off since getpocket.com holds my place for me. So that’s what I’m gonna do, starting with the “Matt punches Jake” one. Now I’ll never truly miss another episode!
(Oddly enough, for a guy who is admittedly limited on reading time I seem to have the longest responses. Narcissist much, Tom?)
And, yes, I’ve already googled the nude. Work computers have incognito modes.
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That’s the most flattering decree of dedication to NFTA I’ve yet received. I’m pretty sure most people just skim my long episode posts, so the fact that you actually read them when time permits is more than I could hope for from anyone. Incidentally, the most bald-faced lie I’ve yet to tell on this page is, of course, “I refuse to watch this,” in reference to Ashley’s nude scene.
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