Reunion Teaser!

billy wow

Now that I know the precise location and function of Jesse’s duodenum, I think it’s time to start filling the gaps between online lessons with the first draft of my Fifteen reunion show script.  Alright, it’s a bit of a misnomer for me to call what’s to follow a “script” because I’ve decided to present it in more of a narrative form for easier reading because this is a blog (<– the dumbest non-word I’ve ever had to begrudgingly add to my vocabulary).  However, should the need arise (Why won’t you return my phone calls, Ryan?), I’m prepared to rework it into a script format at a moment’s notice.  Or someone else can do it for me.  I don’t know how these things work and the odds of this story finding a reason to work are slim to none, but I’m approaching it with every bit of optimism available in my paltry and ever-dwindling reserve thereof because I want this to be fun…

…but maybe not too fun?  Here’s where you can have some input, my friends, though my mind is all but made up aboot the uncharacteristically darker vibe this reunion story will take on.  Should I adjust the dialogue to reflect the times or is everything still tragic in the lives of the Hillside High Class of 93?  Less camp, more realism?  Or fuck realism, you can’t get enough of the glorious cheese?  An equal measure of both would be challenging, but I think I’m up to the task if that be the consensus. Feel free to leave any ideas you may have aboot possible scenarios involving your favorite Hillside alumni.  I’ll do my best to work any plots you’d like to see into the larger story.

Also…how would you ideally like to see this if it were an actual production?  Feature film?  Made for TV movie?  Miniseries?  This will give me an idea of whether or not I can pepper the dialogue with F bombs, as you all know I’m wont to do, but if the consensus is for family-friendly, that’s cool.  Believe it or not, I can work with that.

For now, all I can give you is this very short teaser of the opening scene I’ve envisioned.  If suggestions start to fill up the comments section, I’ll consider those before going any further.  Otherwise, I’ll be back in aboot a week or so to serve up the first full installment of Fifty: The Reunion!


Atrium Theater, Luxor Casino
Las Vegas, NV
December 24, 2021


“Do we have a pulse?”

“Yeah.  Blood pressure 180 over 110 and rising.  Prepare the defibrillator and try to find a contact while I stabilize him for transport and wipe this shit off his face.”

“Does he have a phone?”

“Yeah, here.  Call it into General, too.  Dylan Blackwell, 45-year-old male Caucasian, possible narcotic overdose resulting in cardiac arrest.  Judging from the marquee, he probably did the audience a favor.  Who the hell does a Hendrix tribute in blackface, for Christ’s sake?”



25 thoughts on “Reunion Teaser!

  1. Looking forward to reading it all! 👍🏽
    And why not make it more realistic? I think the way it was filmed during the teenage years only reflects the drama lenses that teens see everything through. Two dimensional at best and life or death. The new realism could lent to the fact that they’ve now grown up. ☺️

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh, I like the dark edge, and Robyn’s reasoning on that. Yes, when we’re young (or Trump fans) everything looks two-dimensional and subjective, as if the way we see the world is the only possible way the world is. We’re dumb. As we grow (if we grow) things become nuanced and complex and we have to approach reality with a nuanced and complex point of view (or just let some nitwit on the radio tell us what to think).

    So, this endeavor should portray an adult complexity heretofore unforeseen at Hillside. And some new sets. I like it as a Netflix series that could be 8-episodes long-ish unless we clamor for more (and we will).

    And f-bombs. Definitely f-bombs.

    One more suggestion: can someone have a golden retriever? Asking for a friend. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Netflix series! — that’s better than any of my suggestions. It will give me enough time to fully flesh out story lines AND the freedom to swear like a motherfucker in the process. And of course, ask and you shall receive: I’m thinking that the golden retriever belongs to middle-aged Deadpool. The weird thing aboot this, of course, is that I need to ditch the nicknames. So the dog is Billy’s. And worst of all, Who Farted will have to be called Stacy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sure, here’s a quick one for you to print oot as a reference guide: Ashley Fraser (a/k/a Whisperina / Pink Denim); Matt Walker (Drinky Crow); Courtney Simpson (Shit Drapes / Headband); Dylan Blackwell (Leather Jacket / Leather Boy / Fonzie / Elvis); Stacy Collins (Who Farted); Billy Simpson (Deadpool); Arseman Harrell (Sassy Afro / Sassy Pants); John (last name unknown – a/k/a Big Ears); Jerry (Filth Pig); Theresa Morgan (Dutch Boy). For reasons lost to history, Brooke Morgan, Roxane Lee, Kelly (last name unknown); Olaf (last name unknown); Cindy (last name unknown); Jake Deosdade, Chris McDonald, Janice (last name unknown), Amanda Morgan, David O’Brien and Erin Walker didn’t get nicknames.


  3. [This spot resumed…]

    Scenario 1: A cast member faked his/her death soon after graduating, and shows up, a specter from the dead at the reunion.
    Scenario 2: The reunion gets quarantined, one of the returnees just came from India where a new cross-species bovine virus has forced the country to slaughter millions of cattle.
    Scenario 3: Two cast members show up with opposing sex change operations – and fall (back) in love.
    Scenario 4: An active shooter situation, ends up being the love child of an elicit pregnancy, put up for adoption. He/she holds the group hostage until the culprits fess-up to the abandonment.
    Scenario 5: The beleaguered band is reassembled and, lo and behold, are “discovered” (finally) by Getty Lee, who happens to be looking for a “fresh” investment. He gets his zipper caught in the hair of one of the “groupies” who then has to follow him around pretending she’s got scoliosis.
    Scenario 6: One of the returning classmates is a tech-merc and keeps trying to scoop social trash on everybody so he can boost his following. But he, himself gets scammed, exposed and humiliated.
    Scenario 7: In the basement of the school, a Breaking Bad moment where the failed-in-life janitor (a classmate) is caught cooking meth. He burns down the school, but sacrifices his life to save the rest of the class.
    Scenario 8: A forever sealed locker is finally exposed containing the stolen belongings of everyone from the class. The sleuthing begins, who was the childhood thief?
    Scenario 9: One of the class shows up having aged barely a day. They claim to have created a longevity drug, but due to the abuse by everyone when he/she was younger, refuse to allow anyone to join the trials. Flagrant fawning and insidious scheming pollute the whole vibe. He/she announces they’ll share the breakthrough with the first person who will…
    Scenario 10: Combine all of this in a two hour special.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now that’s a suggestion list! I like them all and #9 is oddly similar to something I had in mind until I realized there were glaring plot inconsistencies if I went that route. Specifically, I was going to use an actual high school reunion as the basis for everyone reuniting, but the FB invites would have been sent oot by Janice. Janice who everyone treated like shit and even framed for theft. Janice who had to transfer schools because everyone was so cruel to her. Janice who deserves…revenge. But I’m not Ian Weir, so plot consistency matters to me. A high school reunion can’t be the basis of this show — the only characters who would have graduated with the Hillside class of ’93 would have been Ashley, Roxanne, Chris and Arseman. Billy and Who Farted were a grade behind, Brooke moved to Paris, Matt moved across the country, Dylan dropped oot, Courtney transferred schools, Jake just plain disappeared, etc.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. They all sound great to me and for #9, you could use the portrait in the attic motif, you know, add a little extra supernatural flavour. I think the best premise is that they never left (ignoring the fact that they did)–they intermarried and had kids of their own, and now they’re all on parent council trying to deal with the antics of the next generation, using their own experiences to teach the children well. God, that sounds drastically boring, but it IS Canadian. And you could make up all new teen characters AND nicknames!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha…your use of the word “intermarried” made it sound almost incestuous. But a new crop of Hillside brats created by the last batch of Hillside brats — I hadn’t thought aboot that! Imagine the unholy abomination that would result if I have one of these new kids be the progeny of Dave and Who Farted — this could be the most tragically annoying character in the history of television. I’d be able to say that I oot-Binkleyed Binkley!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. The title, the photo, the time/place details beneath the picture led me to believe this was an actual thing.
    Some good ideas in this comment section already.
    You know that someone has to cheat on their current spouse with their high-school crush.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, the cheating thing is almost obligatory, right? As far as what you were led to believe, that’s good — try to keep suspending disbelief — because if YOU believe that a Canadian guitarist named Dylan developed a dangerous drug habit during his Vegas residency doing a Hendrix tribute in blackface, then it is indeed an actual thing.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. What’s with the odd capitalization of dialog for character A vs character B?

    “sorry, matt, i didn’t see you there.”
    “You look dumbfounded. Anything wrong?”
    “no. no, nothing wrong. i just got a text from an old friend i haven’t heard from in ages.”
    “Anyone I know?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Have you already shifted memories of my episode posts to the dark recesses of your consciousness? Ashley’s dialogue has been in lower case right from the start to denote the fact that she always whispers.


      1. The lower case dialogue for Ashley or the double space after a period? Never mind, neither of those things is gonna change. Right now, the only people reading this are already very familiar with my little recurring jokes. And unless I have the same luck as the fictional Jerry — in the future, the very strong odds are that nobody will be reading this.


      2. Joking aside, though, when I create the script version in g docs, those things will be fixed. Even the “oots” and “aboots” will be typed properly. Hence the need for a script in addition to the more “for fun” version I’m posting here.


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