Now that I know the precise location and function of Jesse’s duodenum, I think it’s time to start filling the gaps between online lessons with the first draft of my Fifteen reunion show script. Alright, it’s a bit of a misnomer for me to call what’s to follow a “script” because I’ve decided to present it in more of a narrative form for easier reading because this is a blog (<– the dumbest non-word I’ve ever had to begrudgingly add to my vocabulary). However, should the need arise (Why won’t you return my phone calls, Ryan?), I’m prepared to rework it into a script format at a moment’s notice. Or someone else can do it for me. I don’t know how these things work and the odds of this story finding a reason to work are slim to none, but I’m approaching it with every bit of optimism available in my paltry and ever-dwindling reserve thereof because I want this to be fun…
…but maybe not too fun? Here’s where you can have some input, my friends, though my mind is all but made up aboot the uncharacteristically darker vibe this reunion story will take on. Should I adjust the dialogue to reflect the times or is everything still tragic in the lives of the Hillside High Class of 93? Less camp, more realism? Or fuck realism, you can’t get enough of the glorious cheese? An equal measure of both would be challenging, but I think I’m up to the task if that be the consensus. Feel free to leave any ideas you may have aboot possible scenarios involving your favorite Hillside alumni. I’ll do my best to work any plots you’d like to see into the larger story.
Also…how would you ideally like to see this if it were an actual production? Feature film? Made for TV movie? Miniseries? This will give me an idea of whether or not I can pepper the dialogue with F bombs, as you all know I’m wont to do, but if the consensus is for family-friendly, that’s cool. Believe it or not, I can work with that.
For now, all I can give you is this very short teaser of the opening scene I’ve envisioned. If suggestions start to fill up the comments section, I’ll consider those before going any further. Otherwise, I’ll be back in aboot a week or so to serve up the first full installment of Fifty: The Reunion!
Atrium Theater, Luxor Casino
Las Vegas, NV
December 24, 2021
“Do we have a pulse?”
“Yeah. Blood pressure 180 over 110 and rising. Prepare the defibrillator and try to find a contact while I stabilize him for transport and wipe this shit off his face.”
“Does he have a phone?”
“Yeah, here. Call it into General, too. Dylan Blackwell, 45-year-old male Caucasian, possible narcotic overdose resulting in cardiac arrest. Judging from the marquee, he probably did the audience a favor. Who the hell does a Hendrix tribute in blackface, for Christ’s sake?”